01.31

I vacillate between feelings of complete excitement over the possibilities and bafflement at why I’m even trying.

01.30

We’re going to be inside for a few days. Owen’s first. We’ll see who falls next.

01.29

I seriously almost dropped the camera while I was running to the caravan. Terrifying.

01.28

I think the most beautiful part of each day is the little detail. That thing I’ve never before noticed or the one I finally take the time to stop and appreciate.

01.27

I want to be more like him.

01.26

The melting snow fooled me a little bit. I ventured out without gloves and only snapped a few shots before I ended up running back to the car, Eli in tow. It’s still winter here.

01.25

In the hour after school when all my guys were playing in the gym, I could have gotten so much accomplished. I also could have just put my head down on the table and fallen asleep.

01.24

It would have made him smile on any day, but at the end of this day, it was the perfect final touch.

01.23

I was overwhelmed by the amount of things I felt I had to accomplish today. I sat down, put my head on the table, and sighed. Then I got to work. And got done more than I thought I could. Or would.

01.22

I didn’t want to go. It was cold. I wanted to stay in my slippers, curl up under a blanket, knit, drink hot tea. But he convinced me with his belief in me.

01.21

One snow day was blissful. Two? Maybe too much of a good thing.

01.20

When the snow falls, the city is clean and white and bright and quiet. As long as it’s snowing, the filth and grime and traffic noise can’t sully it.

01.19

Maybe I’m thinking about this all wrong. At least the gray of winter provides some interesting contrast for black and white pictures.

01.18

It’s never predictable whether the rain will spark sullenness or a cozy, curled up afternoon.

01.17

The day was full of heavy clouds and heavy spirits. And then, right before we wrapped it up, they brightened things with their brotherly play and their candidly sweet comments.

01.16

It’s like he’s living a double life. He has all these “school skills” that we never get to see. And then, out of the blue, he writes complete sentences on the window.

01.15

I was downtown, across the street from the building. The camera was in my purse. And I kept walking. If only I could trudge my way out of this thick sediment of fear. I might try the things that scare me. And fail. And be better for it.

01.14

I was so happy this morning to be blinded by the sun. I just sat in front of the window and soaked it in.

01.13

He still spent most of the day on the couch, but he had moments where he felt well enough to pull out his Jedi moves.

01.12

He was supposed to wait in the car until pickup. When I turned around to find him, he wasn’t there. Dropped in the scurry of a quick departure.

01.11

The gray light of a morning snow is strangely warming.

01.10

We had both totally forgotten about this one. Rediscovering it occupied us for much of the morning.

01.09

I’m probably beyond the age where wearing his initial around my neck is reasonable, but I’m still going to do it.

01.08

His big brother took such good care of him, surrounding him with all the stuffed animals and covering them all up with three blankets.

01.07

In my excitement, sometimes I get buried in projects.

01.06

If I had known this was the only sun I’d see all day, I might have spent a little more time soaking it in.

01.05

Every little moment counts in the morning rush, so I do anything I can to streamline the process.

01.04

We pretended it was Spring, until the cold reminded us of the date.

01.03

As it turns out, mom can figure it out.

01.02

The post-holiday letdown is always tough.

01.01

They found two. The big one they named “Shirley” and the little one, “Gelb-leg.”