06.30

Definitions of summer are ever-changing. Today's: bare feet, bare little boy chests, bike helmets, sidewalk chalk, wet, grass-covered feet, remnants of ice cream on faces.

06.29

We've never lived here, but the place still feels like home.

06.28

Every day is a struggle not to make things all about me. I fail a lot. This day I failed more than usual.

06.27

He came up with an activity where we each told our favorite memory of cousin camping trips past. He's not going to be able to sleep because of the anticipation.

06.26

I wonder when the self-doubt ever lets up. I'm guessing never.

06.25

Home all day. Check one off the reading list.

06.24

Remnants of the party. It was exactly what he wanted. His friends, pool noodles, and pandemonium.

06.23

The day unfolded into a spontaneously perfect celebration.

06.22

I laid on my back and watched the leaves blow in the wind. I could see the spots in my eyes. I was on my front lawn again, a kid.

06.21

He was undefeated the whole day. Six straight wins.

06.20

A storm so big it darkened the entire morning. We turned on the lights and watched the city disappear.

06.19

The game wasn't a wash out. I was glad we all went.

06.18

Uncertainty occupies a lot of my brain. Is it too much?

06.17

I'll never actually accomplish everything I wrote on my list. But the things I do get done leave me feeling satisfied.

06.16

The anxiety nearly got the best of me. The field trip distracted me.

06.15

All of us were worried about them on Sunday. By Tuesday, we'd completely forgotten. On Wednesday, our forgotten worries were relieved.

06.14

He told me the names. I wrote them down. He included "grill" and "chair" when we ran out of family.

06.13

We covered ourselves with blankets as we sat in the grass and watched the boys play in the water.

06.12

We made it there intact. I considered that a huge success. And relief.

06.11

I take it as a good sign that they look forward to nights when mom is gone.

06.10

The entire evening was filled with storms. No one was scared. I love the coziness of our house during a storm.

06.09

I've been fighting it these last few days, but the heat finally wilted me.

06.08

With suddenness, things go from clear to muddled and back again.

06.07

I've got to get one of these.

06.06

Summer's exhaustion is a welcome thing. And different than the exhaustion we've been used to around here.

06.05

Watching the movies actually makes me feel sick. But it's a great excuse to sit outside as the sun paints its farewell.

06.04

Sometimes I don't want to keep my word. I want to say, "Because I don't want to and I'm the mom!" And I probably do that some days without even realizing it. But I didn't today. We went, during the game, in the heat.

06.03

I worked all day in preparation, but it was fun. Having so many friends here, fresh flowers, snacks, lovely things...it was a beautiful evening.

 

06.02

It is summer, but he still feels the chains of school. The time that is his own is never enough.

06.01

When, at the end of the day, my kids smell of sunscreen, chlorine, grass, and sweat, I feel like a good mom.